


Things I Don't Understand

by lawless



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: M/M, PWP, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-03
Updated: 2011-10-03
Packaged: 2017-10-24 06:37:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawless/pseuds/lawless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not easy for Hakkai to let go and just accept something he doesn’t understand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things I Don't Understand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Evilchuckles](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Evilchuckles).



> The title is from a song by Renaissance. Not beta-reviewed; all mistakes are mine.

Hakkai doesn’t know how things got to this point. Or rather, he knows how, but he doesn’t know why.

Doesn’t know why Sanzo has him pinned, fingers gripping the wall in front of him and legs splayed apart. Sanzo’s tongue traces a circuitous path, then plunges inside, delving deeper each time. Hakkai feels exposed, but he also feels loved, cared for, worshipped. How could he not, with this infuriating, difficult man on his knees, applying himself to Hakkai’s pleasure as well as his own?

Slippery fingers flutter inside of him, but Sanzo won’t touch him where he wants it most. The time before this, Sanzo slammed into him without thought or hesitation; now he’s full of teasing touches that leave Hakkai aching for more.

He can feel the tip of Sanzo’s cock pressing against him, making its way inside of him agonizingly slowly. He heaves himself backward trying to get Sanzo to pick up the pace, grab Hakkai’s cock, do _something_. Sanzo snickers and captures Hakkai’s hips, stilling his movement. His fingertips dig in until Hakkai can feel bruises blooming underneath them.

“Fuck,” Hakkai says, “just, just—” He takes a harsh breath. “Just—touch me.” Hakkai doesn’t use swear words. He’s not usually incoherent like this. He feels picked apart, turned inside out, and shaken upside down. The air is heavy. The air is thin. Whichever it is, it’s hard to breathe, harder still to maintain his composure.

Sanzo’s breath ghosts over Hakkai’s ear. “I am touching you.” _Not the way I want you to._ Hakkai’s sure that Sanzo knows that, though. Sanzo is a contrary creature. Changing things every time is his way of preventing Hakkai from becoming complacent and him from being bored.

Hakkai cries out as Sanzo nails his prostate. Sanzo kisses the back of Hakkai’s neck and drives in harder with each thrust. Harder and faster and—just--

Sanzo takes hold of Hakkai’s cock and twists. It’s just enough – finally enough – to wring the longed-for orgasm out of him. His vision blanks out as semen spatters the wall.

Sanzo’s arms wrap around him as he stumbles forward, arms shaking and barely able to stand. He can’t see, and can barely hear Sanzo mutter “fuck” under his breath as his cock pulses inside of him.

When Hakkai recovers, he’s hunched over on the floor, the top of his head resting against the smeared wall, with Sanzo kneeling behind him and Sanzo’s come running down his leg. After the trembling stops, Sanzo hauls him up and guides him to the bed, cleaning him up with a corner of the sheet.

They collapse, tangled in the sheets and each other. Hakkai reaches out to stroke Sanzo’s face and tries to speak. Sanzo shushes him by placing a finger on Hakkai’s lips. Hakkai leans forward and kisses him, tenderly, then pulls back and starts to say, “I don’t understand--”

Sanzo uses a hungry kiss to silence him again. When he moves away, he watches Hakkai closely and says, “Don’t think about it. Don’t speak. Just let it be.”

Even though it’s difficult, Hakkai tries to follow Sanzo’s directive as he succumbs to the undertow of sleep. If Sanzo – Sanzo, of all people -- is able to accept this for whatever it is, Hakkai should, too.


End file.
